Trust of others begins with an inherent sense of self-trust. Without self-trust, a sense of wellbeing inside, the command of one's own worth, but also treating oneself with respect, one will not be able to open up and develop trust with others. Future partnerships, healthy team dynamics, and the willingness to be vulnerable comes from trust of others.
So how can you build self-trust first? One release any shame or self-doubt, understand your strengths and weaknesses, develop support systems of people who allow you to develop your own authentic self, and mostly take actions to develop your own value system. Once you feel strong within yourself self-trust develops naturally.
When you feel strong within yourself trust with others opens up naturally as a result of knowing that you have the ability to interact with others from your authentic voice and be yourself.
Trusting your own voice and intuition and acting on those instincts is being authentic. For so many leaders trusting their own needs, values, instincts and not what others think or feel like you should be doing is not easy. As new leaders it is easy to take other people's words, actions, ways of being in the world as our own but it comes with a cost - not being real and true to what is important to you. As a result you can spend years or even more wasting energy and time supporting others, believing their value system as your own blindly and not taking the risks to become your own wise and authentic self.
Real leadership requires boldness, risk taking, breaking out of old patterns of needing to show up as others think you should be. Authenticity requires you to look inside of yourself and truly inquire about what is important to you, why, and how you can take steps to truly live those values and true self out in the world. Real leadership requires you to step out of the box of other people's shadows and once and for all take charge of your own path through wisely opening up to listening to who you are, what is important to you and making it happen. There is no other you in the world - use your unique strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals to live your true life out in the world!
Business leaders stay on top of things—that’s their job. In order to raise a business from the ground up, juggling the various variables and managing where they fall is part of leading a startup to success. However, while an attentive, sharp leader is an asset, a micromanaging leader can be a major hindrance. No employee likes to feel like someone is constantly looking over their shoulder.
So, how can leaders avoid micromanaging while still ensuring things run smoothly? It’s a fine line that often comes with experience.
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Developing your team requires you to be bold, assert yourself in creating healthy relationships, and having a sense of trust in your team member's drive to do good work even when they might not be working up to your standard up until now. For a while I have been forcing myself to get along with team members even when our personalities did not click. Now I realize I don't have to like them in order to work with them, but I do have to nurture their talent.
Respect, trust, and now developing their skills becomes less about personal preference but in getting to a great result. That has taken a mindset shift out of needing to be liked to the power of co-creating results which are win-win for both of us. Now I leverage her natural strengths more and try to gel with her less. As a result I am powerfully allowing her to develop and not avoiding her anymore.
As a people pleaser I regularly have in the past over-committed to things which were requests made by family, friends, and/or coworkers. I needed to feel needed, and therefore felt great when others asked for my help. I felt noticed, paid attention to, and mainly cared about through the thank yous I would receive.
As a result, however, of this high need to please I often felt harried, exhausted, and wiped out. But mostly I felt like I was not reaching my own goals for I was spending too much time on everybody else. I was an overachiever, but could not perform my most important actions.
Through focusing on what is most important to me while still nurturing my relationships I have finally learned that in order to grow up and truly realign my priorities I must now say no and protect my time from duties which do not require my attention or which I cannot take on at that time. It is worth saying no as my body no longer feels lethargic and I have developed stronger more authentic relationships.
What do you have to say no to today?
When you notice your colleague is consistently not on their game, you might find yourself in an uncomfortable situation. You don’t want to come off as offensive if you point out their errors or offer unsolicited advice, and you likely don’t want to feel like you’re going behind their back to report them to your boss either.
However, staying silent about the issue can be just as troubling, for both you and your company. This is especially true if your coworker’s poor performance is impacting your own workload.
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Monica Thakrar has over 18 years experience in business focused mainly on strategy, change management, leadership development, training and coaching resulting in successful implementations of large scale transformation programs.