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Art of Leadership Blog

"Daring Greatly" Review 2

5/1/2013

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In Chapter Two Brene Brown continues by discussing some of the myths about vulnerability that fuel scarcity. She says courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. She says the myths are:

  • Myth #1 - “Vulnerability is weakness” - she defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. To feel is to be vulnerable and to believe that feeling is a weakness cuts us off from everything that gives purpose and meaning to living, such as love, creativity, belonging, and joy. When we cut off vulnerability it can often lead to judgment and criticism. She says that “vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage” which aren’t comfortable but are not weaknesses. The willingness to show up changes us and gives us more courage each time.
  • Myth #2 - “I Don’t Do Vulnerability” - even when we don’t think that we do vulnerability, it does us. She says, “Experiencing vulnerability isn’t a choice - the only choice we have is how we’re going to respond when we are confronted with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” We can show up by being scared, controlling, judgmental if we don’t do vulnerability which is often the antithesis of how we want to be.
  • Myth #3 - “Vulnerability is Letting It All Hang Out” - Brown says that “vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust. It is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.” Trust is built through little moments of engaging in the relationship and showing up. It is being there for others in ways that show that you care, are paying attention, and are investing in them. Trust can be betrayed, however, through disengaging from the relationship in little ways which begins to erode trust.
  • Myth #4 - “We Can Go It Alone” - She says in her other book The Gifts of Imperfection, “Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” She continues that “we simply can’t learn to be more vulnerable and courageous on our own. Sometimes our first and greatest dare is asking for support.”

Are you hanging on to any of these myths? If so, how is it impacting your leadership style or your organization?
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    Monica Thakrar

    Monica Thakrar has over 18 years experience in business focused mainly on strategy, change management, leadership development, training and coaching resulting in successful implementations of large scale transformation programs.  

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