MTI, Monica Thakrar Inc.
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Online Courses
    • Search Inside Yourself (SIY)
  • Leadership Development Program
    • Leadership Development Details
  • Art of Leadership Blog
    • Resources
  • Clients
  • Contact

Art of Leadership Blog

“The Big Leap” Review 2

6/27/2012

0 Comments

 
Guy Hendricks continues on with “The Big Leap” by saying that when we are enjoying high levels of success in finances, creativity, or relationships we often create high dramas in our lives in order to prevent us from feeling that enhanced success. This is the Upper Limit Problem.

He says that reason that we create this drama is from one (or more) of the four primary false beliefs or fears that we hold:
  • Feeling fundamentally flawed - this belief tells you to play it safe and stay small. This is an old belief that can be triggered any time that you reach a new level of success. When this happens you can either return to your old set point or dissolve the underlying belief in order to move on to new levels of success.
  • Disloyalty and abandonment - with this belief you feel like if you were successful you would be all alone and would leave behind all the people from your past. If you achieve success with this belief then you follow it with self-punishment.
  • Believing that more success brings a bigger burden - here you feel that you are a burden from when you are really young so you feel guilty any time you are successful.
  • The crime of outshining - this is a belief that you need to tone down your success in order to not outshine someone else.

He says these four beliefs are the root causes for us hitting our Upper Limit Problem. He says we can identify times when we are “upper-limiting” ourselves when we see we are doing the following behaviors:
  • Worrying - worry when we cannot control something is just noise designed to keep us safe in our Zone of Excellence or Zone of Competence
  • Criticism and blame - these are really ways to stop the flow of positive energy (even if the blame or criticism is directed at oneself)
  • Deflecting - avoiding positive comments or acknowledgement in order to crimp the positive flow of energy keeps us from challenging ourselves to feel good.
  • Squabbling - arguing often occurs as a race towards occupying the victim position in the relationship
  • Getting sick or hurt - often are ways to show that you have an upper limit problem. There is a strong link between emotional and physical health

Letting yourself savor natural good feelings is a direct way to transcend the upper limit problem. Also awareness of when you are doing the above items and shifting them into more positive behaviors can be helpful.

Can you notice times when you are worrying, blaming, deflecting or getting sick? Are they upper limit behaviors for you?
0 Comments

“The Big Leap” Review 1

6/20/2012

1 Comment

 
I have been inspired by reading the book “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks. It is a great hand guide to moving past the blocks, which are holding you back from being the leader that you can be. 

The author says that just about everybody suffers from the “Upper Limit Problem” or a limited tolerance for feeling good. He says when people hit that upper limit they manufacture thoughts that make them feel bad, stopping their positive forward trajectory and bringing them back to the bounds of their limited tolerance. He says that people can break through the upper limit and move towards their “Zone of Genius” by addressing the thoughts that are holding them back or breath through the fog of fear it brings and turn it into exhilaration

He says there is a triad of items that grow in the same pace - abundance, love and creativity. If we are feeling good in one area it can trigger some old thought that will sabotage your behavior and bring you back down to your old feelings. But he says you can practice moving through this by focusing on the good feelings and not acting on the negative trigger. He says the upper limit problem needs to be dis-solved by shining the light of awareness on it.

He says that our activities in life and/or business occur in four main zones:
  • Zone of Incompetence - this zone is made up of all the things you are not good at.
  • Zone of Competence - you are competent at these activities, but others can do them just as well.
  • Zone of Excellence - these are the activities you do extremely well.
  • Zone of Genius - this is where you express your natural genius and is your ultimate path to success and life satisfaction.

The author suggests that the only zone that will produce the most fulfillment in our lives is by living in the Zone of Genius.

Where are you living in your life and/or business? Are you living in your Zone of Genius?
1 Comment

“Necessary Endings” Review 4

6/13/2012

0 Comments

 
Dr. Cloud finalizes his book “Necessary Endings” by talking about how to tackle internal and external barriers or resistance to change. Here are a few resistance factors:

  • Incompatible wishes - wishes which go against each other. Maturity comes with the ability to let go of one wish in order to have another.
  • No attachment to a certain outcome - you have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.
  • Medicating thoughts - numbing the anxiety of making a decision or parting with something they are attached to.
  • The paradox of “whole-vision” - this is the maturity needed to know when to remain invested in a relationship and when to let go of it by seeing the whole picture (positives and negatives).
  • External resisters such as self-absorbed resisters, threatened resisters, the NoNos - these are all people outside of you (e.g. - in your business or your personal life) who are resisting the change you want to make

Even by getting past the resistance factors change is hard so know that endings are difficult to do and it will be bumpy ride. Feel the grief that comes with the ending. It is a natural process and you are often grieving the investment you made into that person, idea, or object. If you don’t feel the feelings with letting something go then you will remain tethered to it in some way.

So how do you sustain the ability to make a change? If you don’t make changes that a necessary Dr. Cloud says that you begin to get depleted. Noticing that your emotions, finances, relationships, etc are getting depleted will allow you to get the motivation to change.

Overall making necessary endings is all about creating the future that you so desire. It takes courage, commitment, and a vision to move to the place that you want to be. So what do you have to have the courage to let go of in order to create the next step that you so desire? What are you willing to let to go to chase your dream?
Wednesday, June 13, 2012

 
 
0 Comments

“Necessary Endings” Review 3

6/6/2012

0 Comments

 
Dr. Cloud continues in Necessary Endings by discussing how to know when to let go of people as this can often be the hardest ending. He says a way to understand this is to diagnose the character of the people. He says that there are three kinds of people and you need to deal with each kind differently:

  • Wise people - a person who can learn from his own experience or the experience of another, make that part of himself and then deliver results from that experience base. They adjust to the truth and you deal with them by talking to and giving them feedback.
  • Foolish people - a person who rejects feedback, resists it, explains it away, and does nothing to adjust to meet its requirements. They adjust the truth so they don’t have to do anything different so talking to them about the problem does not help but setting limits and consequences does. Making the foolish person feel consequences is the biggest way to help influence their change.
  • Evil people - a person who wants to hurt you intentionally and the way to deal with them is to step away and protect yourself.

Dr. Cloud says the way to make a change is to create urgency and this can be done with time and energy. He says there are few strategies to create urgency:

  • Make the threat to our future as real in our minds as it is in reality
  • Create “Ending Alliances” - form powerful coalitions of those people who will be influencers of change
  • Create vision - this helps to create the motivation to change
  • Set deadlines - force endings by a certain timeframe
  • Create structure - consisting of time, plans, critical paths, milestones, deadlines, and meetings.
  • Stay close to the misery - to keep giving you the incentive to change
  • Measure, measure, measure - to make sure progress is made

Doing these steps helps to make urgent the new normal.  What are you doing to ensure that you are assessing whether the people you are working with are the right ones? Are you creating enough urgency to create the changes that you desire. What is one step above that you can implement in order to begin to make the change?
0 Comments

    Monica Thakrar

    Monica Thakrar has over 18 years experience in business focused mainly on strategy, change management, leadership development, training and coaching resulting in successful implementations of large scale transformation programs.  

    MTI Newsletter Signup
    For Email Newsletters you can trust.

    Archives

    November 2022
    October 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    May 2017
    January 2017
    August 2016
    June 2016
    March 2016
    October 2015
    July 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    November 2012
    October 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010

    Categories

    All
    Accountability
    Assessment
    Change
    Change Management
    Character
    Clients
    Collaboration
    Commitment
    Communication
    Complexity
    Cost
    Courage
    Creativity
    Culture
    Discipline
    Diversity
    Economy
    Emotional Intelligence
    Emotional Labor
    Emotions
    Employees
    Entrepreneur
    Excellence
    Facilitation
    Failure
    Flexibility
    Focus
    Generosity
    Genius
    Goals
    Growth
    Habits
    Hiring
    Holidays
    Ideas
    Innovation
    Inspiration
    Integrity
    Introverts
    Invest In Employees
    John Maxwell
    Kindness
    Leader
    Leadership
    Linchpin
    Managers
    Marketing
    Meditation
    Myers Briggs
    Myths
    Opportunities
    Organization
    Planning
    Potential
    Prioritize
    Progress
    Relationships
    Resilience
    Resistance
    Rewards
    Risks
    Seth Godin
    Stephen Covey
    Steve Jobs
    Technology
    Time
    Transparency
    Tribes
    Trust
    Understanding
    Vision
    Vulnerability

    RSS Feed

​Contact Info
1435 Chapin St NW, #206, Washington DC 20009 703.282.3295
monica@monicathakrar.com    
MTI Inc. is a woman-owned small business founded in 2008 | Monica Thakrar, CEO | DUNS #004654409 | NAICS Codes 541611, 541612, 611430 | Classification WOSB 

Copyright © 2020 MTI Inc., Monica Thakrar All Rights Reserved | Aspire Beyond Expectations | 11435 Chapin St NW, #206, Washington DC 20009 | 703.282.3295 | 
Find us Online
Site design by Artotems Co. 
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Online Courses
    • Search Inside Yourself (SIY)
  • Leadership Development Program
    • Leadership Development Details
  • Art of Leadership Blog
    • Resources
  • Clients
  • Contact