My faith has always been important to me over the last 15 years, but never more so than when I am in a tough spot. In those times I lean more into my faith, my spiritual practices, and listening to positive messages from my faith. But the work really is still internally being able to live those words and not being out of alignment with my purpose and values.

During this time of pause I have opened up to living up to those values again - regularly practicing my spiritual practices, facing my inner capacity work wise and socially and now opening up in my personal life too to growth. But the main thing I have been able to open up to during this time is living in integrity to the wisdom within me (when I meditate or listen intently) and acting on it right away. In the past I would ignore messages and/or stop the messages coming out through staying busy or avoiding them through numbing out in some way like watching Netflix or overeating. But now that I am staying active less and needing to be aware of and trust the inner guidance I am doing so regularly and thereby elevating my inner wisdom by acting on them. As a result I am truly merging within and becoming the woman I always knew I could be.

What do you need to listen to and act on in your own world? What do you use to ignore messages from within and numb out?

When life throws you curve balls you realize what you are made up of. As a friend reminded me they can be in the boat with me (as I have had so much support through this curve ball) but I still have to row the boat. As a result I had to dig deep. I had to merge with a stronger deeper part of myself. I had to overcome my own feelings of sadness and grief over a path not emerging yet, and focus on what the opportunities and possibilities were instead.

As a result I have been growing again. I have developed a deeper sense of purpose and worthiness in my own capacity to overcome challenges. I have grown in my resilience to adapt to things not working out the way that I wanted them to, but mainly to change. I teach change management classes a lot, but didn't truly ever feel safe during change. But now I realize the Universe has my back. There is a reason for everything. And when I learn and grow and focus on the positive even better things happen for the curve ball happened for a reason.

My devotion to the Universe is deeper as a result of digging deeper, but most importantly I know who has my back now rather than just play friends. And finally I am stronger in my purpose as well as in what matters for me as I don't have time to waste anymore.

​What are you stronger in due to tough times in your life?

With so many comings and goings in life sometimes it has been hard for me to settle into a consistent dream, vision, values for my life due to some limitations I had put on myself. Through this time of pause and needing to wait for the tides to shift, I have had to go inwards and truly feel the feelings of angst, pain, fear, and loneliness for the dream I had in mind has not yet emerged. 

But as I dig through the feelings I see that the whole time my purpose was right there in front of me - give and receive, give more than I get, and let the world guide me through into loving human beings and allowing myself to truly thrive with other people around me. It is due to commitment, to planting, to merging with others and community that we thrive. It is through love and connection that we grow to our fullest version. And it is because of dropping the focus on the wrong things (the material things of the world) that the true focus on relationship health and success emerged. Covid solidified that as the truth is I have been more content in many ways dropping all of the external things and focusing on the healthy doting relationships than I had in the past for so many reasons. Mainly because I grew in my confidence in those relationships as well as in my capacity to nurture them and receive from them as well.

What is your purpose? How has it solidified this year?

When the universe throws you a curve ball, you must adjust. But man is it hard. I was on a course expecting a certain outcome, but the tides shifted and I couldn't proceed in the way I planned. As a result I paused, took some time out to get the support I needed emotionally as well as spiritually, but now I am seeing the clearly just how important the pause is. 

As  result of the pause I am now happier, more content, as well as now calmer inside due to the meditation and spiritual lessons I was reading, but mainly due to the expanse of friends and family who have come to my side. For someone who took a long time to cultivate a support system so vast and so wonderfully accommodating, I feel fortunate to know that the right people have now come by my side and that I am not on my own in the hard times, but powerfully held up. That was a large undertaking and I realize just how powerful it is to nurture and grow relationships, how much effort and time it takes to put into growing a resourceful network, but mainly how important it is to stand by each other in the good and bad times.

So many people had my back but more importantly I was content in the adjustment due to the wisdom I was now able to listen to as I calmed down and duly trusted that the pause was for the good. I was meant to open up and coalesce with these friends and family and healthily connect heart to heart and now the beginnings of soul to soul with a wise circle of family and friends.  For in due time all of who I am could settle into a deeper connection with them as well as changing the course of my future for when the change does occur I will be able to connect and care in a much deeper way. 

Everything happens for the good even when you might not be able to see it in the moment!
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