Failure is something that leaders don't like to do but with sometimes our biggest lessons result. We often are so timid and look to belong so much that we don't truly stand up for what is important to us (our core values) due to wanting to adhere to the instructions of people around you and/or being so bonded with the people that they are fearful of voicing their deep strength/inherent worth.
So what do the most influential leaders do? First of all they stay true to their values. Second they pursue those values even when they are might start to come in conflict with the right organization for a while, but not for the long term, and thirdly opening up to valuing themselves so much that they work to influence the current organization and working to find a new way of operating together or ineffectively doing that by contracting/shutting down/ or not voicing what is truly on their mind that they end up losing the bond that made the situation so worth it.
In the long run if we don't truly voice what is important to us we end up losing things anyway (failing) when they go away. When we react negatively due to holding back voicing what is truly on our mind the blowback can be devestating (losing business, bonds, and/or cherished relationships). In the long run being real is much more important than maintaining a pleasant face because the real will eventually come out (and perhaps not in the best way).
Learn from your failure, speak up more normatively rather than critically due to holding things back for so long, and deepen your relationships rather than failing...
Monica Thakrar has over 18 years experience in business focused mainly on strategy, change management, leadership development, training and coaching resulting in successful implementations of large scale transformation programs.