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Art of Leadership Blog

“Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” Review 6

4/15/2013

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So how do introverts and extroverts interact? Susan Cain says that it can be difficult in terms of communications and conflict resolution. She says that introverts typically are conflict avoidant while extroverts can handle conflict better. Also she says that introverts tend to like people they meet in friendly contexts, while extroverts tend to like people they compete with.

So how do you handle the interaction between the two? The author says that the extrovert needs to learn how to calm down, take a breath and speak up about the conflict when he is calmer (looking for a win-win solution). For the introvert it is to accept that she might be wrong (and not get stuck in the guilt of it) and also to fight back (e.g. - in a way that stops the anger from the other side). 

Introverts can engage in healthy communication and conflict resolution through engaging in conversation in their own way and by understanding that their dislike of conversational multitasking is real.

She also says that parents can help their introverted children by understanding their way of being and then slowly introducing them to new things and new ways of being without pushing them into it. Therefore they get used to interacting and being ok with novelty. Also it is great to help your child find a passion that they can lean into and truly find themselves in as confidence grows from being good at something. Relationships between extroverts and introverts can and do work but sometimes just take a bit of understanding and empathy about how the other type interacts with others.

Overall the author advocates for allowing introverts to be themselves and contribute to the world in the way that suits their temperament. If they do come out of their comfort zone for a sense of purpose then allow themselves some restorative periods. 

As a Myers Briggs certified instructor a person and/or a leader who is introverted can be just as effective as an extrovert for both are personality styles and neither is better than the other. Each has their unique way of being and interacting in the world and it is imperative to stay true to who you are as a person or as a leader in order to be the most authentic and effective you can be.
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    Monica Thakrar

    Monica Thakrar has over 18 years experience in business focused mainly on strategy, change management, leadership development, training and coaching resulting in successful implementations of large scale transformation programs.  

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